I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
