The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
