that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
