I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
