sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
