Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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