So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Randomize
