there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
