I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Randomize
