I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
