So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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