never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
