Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Randomize
