the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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