weddingsv make me drug and hornr
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize
