Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
