You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
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