Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
