is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
