We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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