I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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