white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
