The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
