whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
its not stalking. its research.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
