why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
