i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I got her a Nickelback box set.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
