On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
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