So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
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