im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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