lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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