we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Randomize
