May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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