I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
if only i could text you this smell
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Randomize
