Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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