You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
