is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
