My brain says no but my pants say off.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Just invented taco cereal.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
