dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
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