I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
