garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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