Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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