pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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