I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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