I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
