Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
