Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
