Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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