we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize