The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
