3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
