You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
