at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
