U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Randomize
