Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
