they need to just BURY HIM!
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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