so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Randomize
