Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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