I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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