I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize
