Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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