Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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