Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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