Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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