Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
