my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Randomize
