I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
