please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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