fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize