i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Randomize
